Andy Rivers - The Geordie Author

Just thought I’d make you all aware that the lads and lasses at Byker Books have brought out another corking collection of stories for your delectation:-

Radgepacket – Tales From The Inner Cities Volume Three

The eagerly awaited third volume in the ‘Radgepacket – Tales from the Inner Cities’ series will be launched onto an unsuspecting world on July 11th. Radgepacket Three continues the Byker Books quest to bring you the best in ‘unsigned and unhinged’ British talent as well as the more established names. We’ve got stories of giant rats, vigilantes, teenage car thieves and bent politicians as well as many more. If you like blood and guts, sex and drugs or gangsters and thugs then there’s something in here for you.

Come on…GET RADGE!

Available from selected Borders stores, Amazon and other online bookshops and www.bykerbooks.co.uk

I’m not in it – they really can’t afford me these days – but I think it’s still worth £5.99 of anyone’s beer tokens – go on man you know you want to…actually, here’s the Amazon link as well, could I make it any easier????

Radge3

Politicians who are getting all hysterical about Fred Goodwin’s gold plated pension deal and are demanding that he ‘does the right thing’ – don’t make me laugh you amoral, corrupt, grasping cunts, the hypocrisy emanating from you self righteous fuckers is sickening; Mike Ashley – we’re going down, you caused it, don’t try to convince us otherwise you nepotistic fat wanker; Chris Moyles – no particular reason this time I just fucking hate him; Cats that drag dead birds into your garden and leave them there – hope the fox gets you and does the same you little twats; Regional news that isn’t actually about your region – what’s that all about; Dennis Wise – Mike Ashleys gay lover; Agent Million from the Premium Bonds – he appears to have lost my address; People on Facebook who earnestly join every ‘cause’ going and feel the need to send these ‘causes’ on to me – fuck off, I don’t care; Whoever decided the Euro should be worth the same as the pound thus fucking up my little trip to Berlin; Joe Kinnear – Mike Ashleys dad; Whoever ‘slimed’ Peter Mandelson – she should have fucking punched him, missed opportunity there methinks; Derek Llambias – Mike Ashley’s bookie; All the left wing worthy’s who are jumping on the ‘Slumdog Millionaire is just poverty porn and it’s wrong’ bandwagon – fuck off it’s a good film and you’re just trying to be alternative, you sad, polo neck jumper wearing, ex-student, fuckwits; Whoever invented gardening – tosspot.

Afternoon Boys and Girls,

I'm being featured in a forthcoming anthology 'Radgepacket - Tales from the Inner Cities' available from next week (17/11/08) from Byker Books. Take a look at their website - they're a bit different and well worth a look.

The book itself is only £5.99 - which includes postage and packing - and is a bit of a bargain. It features a number of unknown authors and a well known one (Danny King) and is endorsed by a number of people, one of whom says this :-

Byker Books have mustered a cabal of writers who write like people possessed about people possessed. Tales from the Inner Cities wades into the British underclass with tight clenched fists and eyes wide open.

 Pick up if you?re hard enough ? put it down if you can.?

Matt Nesbitt, Oxfordshire Press

So there you have it, good value and I'm in it - what more could you want? Get it in ya stocking!

Byker Books

I would just like to put to bed the scurrilous rumours that Newcastle United are to be renamed Walford FC, the catering staff will only be serving Jellied eels from now on, the team will be running out to ?knees up Mother Brown?  and that Shearers Bar will be re-named ?The Queen Vic?.

This is obviously nonsense?everyone knows that the caterers will also be doing Pie and Mash?

Good luck to all the protesters, shouters, boycotters and heed the balls in Newcastle tomorrow ? let that fat cunt and his evil little sidekick know exactly what you think of them.

Ps ? Of course I wouldn?t for one second advocate violence or lawless behaviour on the aforementioned obese one and his cock sucking dwarf buddy but if it happens then rest assured I?ll be the first one to piss my self laughing!

Bit bored with this now like.

At the weekend Mike Ashley was spoken to by the police for committing the heinous crime of drinking a pint. Apparently someone complained ? what type of sad, whinging, spotty virgin moans to the bizzies when his team is already three nil up and cruising to victory. What kind of sad, unfulfilled, frustrating life must this cunt lead that makes him derive satisfaction from crying to the law that someone is trying to drown his sorrows. Fucking Arsehole.

Mick Dennis of The Express has also continued his one man sniping crusade against Newcastle when he commented on the incident. For those of you who don?t know Mr Dennis has been slagging off Keegan non-stop since his arrival back at the Toon but as we?ve made a decent start he?s been strangely quiet, only crawling out from under his stone to mention this.

Joey Barton (again), comes on and gets booed by the whole middle class Arsenal set. The same Arsenal mob who consider Tony Adams a legend ? that?s the Tony Adams who went to jail for drink driving and put his car through someone?s garden wall when pissed. Still that?s alright isn?t it ? he?s a London based player.

Joey then makes a legitimate tackle which results in him being targeted by the whole Arsenal team until one of them (Samir Nasri)  boots him from behind (a tactic used by countless frenchmen over the years I understand ? soft cunts!). You?d think the sporting press, particularly in the light of the new ?respect? campaign would make something of this ? oh hold on though, Nasri plays for a London team doesn?t he and those nasty oiks from up North deserve everything they get.

Not that I?m narked or anything like?

Ps and Arsenal played like fucking Brazil that?s not fair either?

Right then, couple of bits today.

I'm off to Prague on a big boys beano tomorrow - I've heard they have lovely architecture, wonderful Art Galleries and super museums, I absolutely guarantee I won't see any of them.

Tried out my new gumshield last night during an intense five round beating - I'm happy to report that none of my teeth burst through my lips or cheeks so well done to the Tooth Factory in the toon for that - I'm also pleased to report that my opponent, a filthy old school slugger, suffered severe bruising...to his knuckles - that'll teach him.

No writing news other than one of my stories (Blagger) is going to feature in the debut anthology from 'Byker Books' sometime in November - I'll let you know when so you can buy a copy and I'll sign it for you. Then when I'm a multi billionaire celebrity author you can claim to the News of The World that I slept with you and make yourself fifty grand - everyone's a winner.

Have I mentioned I'm going to Prague in a minute?

Have a good un.

Ps - Did you notice I didn't swear today? Soon put that right - FUCK!